TWO LEFT FEET
I was in my cabin thinkin’ about what my New Year’s resolution should
be. I thought for a couple of hours
while splitting some wood out back. So I
thought, why don’t I sign up for the Dog and Partner
Dance Competition. It’s where dogs and
their partners dance together to win a trophy.
Since my dog is so smart I’ll be winning this dance competition for
sure.
Not to brag or anything but
I’ve got one smart dog. He can actually
write you a letter (if you give him an ink pad) and give you an answer if you give
him a question. Last but not least he
can bark if he is hungry, or has to go potty.
Well, anyway, I was all happy and excited because I really haven’t
thought up a good idea like this in such a while. So I go up to the backyard where he was
chewing on a piece of bone. I gave him
the ink pad and the piece of paper. He
wrote back and said he can’t do the dance competition because he has two left
feet.
The Ballad of Harvey Carr
Verse I:
Born in
I was a logger awful strong and lean
Made a living back in the woods
Back where the 100 footers of pine usually stood
Chorus:
Born to be a liar, hey it’s all true
Did I ever tell you ‘bout my zucchini canoe
How about ole Sparky chasing that hare
So what if I was on the wrong bear.
Born to be a liar, hey it’s all true
I’ll have you laughing till you turn blue
Verse II:
I walked to work some eight miles in
Left the woods to jump from planes
But the trees I missed just like kin
So back to the Blue line to live within
Chorus:
Born to be a liar, hey it’s all true
Did I ever tell you ‘bout my zucchini canoe
How about ole Sparky chasing that hare
So what if I was on the wrong bear.
Born to be a liar, hey it’s all true
I’ll have you laughing till you turn blue
Verse III:
Back to Blue with Mary my wife
My four kids became my life
Kids Mary, David, Larry, and John
We’d the afternoons back on the pond
Chorus:
Born to be a liar, hey it’s all true
Did I ever tell you ‘bout my zucchini canoe
How about ole Sparky chasing that hare
So what if I was on the wrong bear.
Born to be a liar, hey it’s all true
I’ll have you laughing till you turn blue
Verse IV:
I loved living in the park
And fishing with my old buddy, Spark
I enjoyed conversing with Old Noah John
Ole Harvey Carr your tales shall live on